It’s no secret that our little band of musical misfit cutlery was banded in 2010 (okay it actually *is* a secr … well not anymore). But why is it that we only have two songs right now, both which were created in 2010 and not released until 2012 (and 2013 respectively)?
The Mayans. That’s why.
“G*d f*****g d****t! I’ve heard enough about the b****y f*****g Mayans already. We’re all still here, shut up about it.”
Ah, but have you?
You see, it was the Mayans that brought us those big decorative wheels, which you see, were really plates. Archeologists simply had them turned the wrong way. If they had placed these oversized *ehem* plates on the floor they would have realized that the only possible purpose for having such ornate, gargantuan dishware is for giant-sized anthropomorphized sfork-men (*ehem* or sporks, as the americans call them)! (Again, another parenthesis; Thank you expensive education.) (And a semi-colon, but I digress.)
All those happy drawings on the big plates pointed to a day when Sforks would once again return to the earth, sharing laughter and musical joy like the rays of the sun,
but not before the appointed hour.
So you see it is not only that now is the time for SFORK to return to the earth, but also that the ancient wells of culinary/musical knowledge of the ancients is about to be unleashed upon the modern world, to the benefit of all antrhro-kind.
Some say sporks were just an evolutionary dead-end, like the duck-billed platypus, and still some others a horrible lab experiment gone wrong but we say “Nay!”, a Sfork is a divinely given instrument of all that is good and wonderful in the world! Now is the appointed hour of their return!
The Mayans realized this, and that’s why they gave to us the prophetic *ehem* plates of foretelling (and we think spaghetti, there was probably spaghetti on the plates too) and someone made a really bad movie about it that didn’t involve any sporks and in which the world ended cataclysmically.
And now you know the secret. The plates are being deciphered even now as the mighty Sforks are being coaxed out of their ancient slumber to impart many more musical messages to your awaiting souls.
The hour is at hand. Listen to our sacred messages, and have faith that there shall be more.
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